Guest Post: Decision making during COVID-19: Four Steps to Help
Guest Authors:
Lee Dal Pra, AM, LCSW, Clinical Director & Co-owner, Mind Chicago (@mindchicago)
Emily Grzelakowski, AM, LCSW, EMG Counseling, Ltd.
If you are a parent in 2020, you’re likely weighing the pros and cons of having your children return to daycare and/or school. We know many parents are searching for a clear answer to the daycare/school dilemma. And while we don’t know what the best choice is for your family, we can offer expert guidance on getting unstuck from the decision-making gridlock so many of us are facing right now.
When parents feel stuck, there are often distressing thoughts standing in their way. Thoughts like, “I will make the ‘wrong’ decision and fail as a parent” convince us that we are not equipped to make decisions for our children. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), we work with families to see these automatic negative thoughts for what they are – unhelpful.
We also support parents to recognize they can only make a decision based on what they know right now.
You already know that health and safety is a priority.
You already know that learning is a priority.
You have investigated several resources on return to daycare/school (as evidenced by the fact you are reading this).
Four Steps to Help You
Like all therapists, we don’t have the answers, but we have questions for you to consider. Rather than dig through the depths of the internet for the perfect solution, try these 4 steps to stay out of your head and figure out what works best for your family.
STOP. Try to stop everything you’re doing (multitasking, browsing the internet, etc!) to really think about these decisions. Schedule a good chunk of time when it is quiet. Get yourself in a place where you can ask yourself the questions below and really think without the many distractions we have throughout the day!
TAKE A WELL-DESERVED DEEP BREATH. Breathe in for 5 seconds. Breathe out for 5 seconds.
ASK YOURSELF (AND YOUR PARTNER) THE FOLLOWING (non-exhaustive) LIST OF QUESTIONS:
What is important to my family right now (not what’s important to my neighbors, friends, or coworkers)?
How can I let go of there being a right or wrong answer and, instead, navigate this situation moment-by-moment with the information I have at hand? (Hello, mindfulness!)
Are we equipped to make distance learning successful for all of our children? What do we know about the school’s plan for health and safety?
4. MAKE A PROS AND CONS LIST. Rank each item on the pros and cons list for its importance to you. It’s not about how many pros and cons, but rather the impact of each factor.
Remember, you are not alone! If you or your family are stuck in decision-making paralysis about returning to daycare/school and need a hand, reach out for support from a trusted friend, community member, or therapist!
